Simplifying.

Hot wheels and wrestles.

I've had some discussions with family and friends recently that have made me pause, want to rewind and regroup. In one of the conversations the topic was about kids and the addiction to electronics these days. My awesome sister-in-law pointed out the fact that the addiction comes from the parents. If your child sees you frequently in front of the computer, your phone, the television, etc. then that's what they think they need as well. I had probably subconsciously made that connection before, but it had never been verbalized for me until that moment.

The very next day, my siblings were all sitting around on the couch, each with smart phones in hand and a basketball game on in the background. My one year old went around to each one of them trying to get a phone. When he was unsuccessful he started to cry. I distracted him with a toy and he soon forgot about wanting a phone to play with. To me, it was a confirmation to what my sister-in-law had just said the previous night.

Technology is amazing and awesome and so incredibly useful. But it also scares me. It scares me that my children are growing up in a day in age when if you don't have some sort of electronic on in the background or in your hands, you are bored. Where teenagers don't even have the conversation skills to interview for a job because they are more use to texting and facebooking than actually talking to a human being. Where people are more and more desensitized by the games they play and the shows they watch.

My resolution, not just for the new year but for my new life (too cheesy?), is to spend less time in front of these things and more time pulling out the paints, taking a walk to the park, discovering new museums, building lego towers, racing hot wheels, reading books, baking pretzels and telling stories. Creating moments where my boys can learn, grow and explore rather than just be "entertained" is going to be my priority. It will be hard. Because, let's face it, it's so much easier (and less messy) to put on a show or set up a computer game than it is to bring out craft after craft and toy after toy to keep them entertained.

But there will be no more excuses.

Wish me luck!

p.s. I won't be updating this blog for a while, so please excuse my absence.

Homemade Hot Cocoa

A couple of years ago when we still lived in Idaho, one of our neighbors brought us homemade hot chocolate. I was in absolute awe of this, not realizing it was something that could be accomplished at home (duh). I made a point to ask her for the recipe knowing it would be a good thing for this hot chocolate lover to have. I never was able to corner her for the recipe and forgot about it once summer came. That is until the following winter when our neighborhood ladies put together a cookbook. When I received my book I'd be lying if I told you it wasn't one of the first recipes I searched for. Low and behold on page five of that book laid the very recipe I had been coveting for an entire year.

This year (since we are in an entirely different state now) I decided to borrow her idea and give my new neighbors a taste of our Idaho Christmas.  I wanted to find a cute way to package it and after a few minutes on Pinterest I was inspired and came up with this:

What do you think? Cute? I like the way they turned out and am glad I was able to find the big quart jars so that it could hold enough servings for a big family if needed. They were super easy to do I just made the tags in photoshop, threaded some cute ribbon through them and then added a Christmasy scrapbook paper top. So easy. The thing that made them extra cute was our personal little delivery man:

He practiced saying "Merry Christmas!" and handing the jars over before we left. The neighbors loved it!

Homemade Hot Cocoa

1 box (1 lb, 10 oz) non fat dry milk (11 cups)
4 cups sifted confectioner's sugar
2 (8 oz) jars flavored non dairy creamer (I used Hazelnut this time but there are lots of options)
1 (11 oz) jar non dairy creamer (3 cups)
1 box (1 lb) chocolate milk mix - like Nestle Quick (2 cups)

In a very large bowl (find your biggest mixing bowl and then get an even bigger one, seriously this makes a ton!) combine all ingredients, stir until well blended. Store in an air tight container. Give with serving instructions. Yeild: about 19 1/2 cups of cocoa mix.

To serve: Add 3 heaping tablespoons to 6 oz. hot water.

The best cup of hot chocolate.

During the winter months I become somewhat obsessed with hot, chocolately drinks. Every evening before bed I warm myself up a mug of water (or milk if I'm being daring) and enjoy a nice drink of hot chocolate before I go to bed. It produces excellent padding and insulation during the cold winter months. Trust me. Big sweaters and sweat pants become my best friends. I have had some really good cups of hot chocolate in years past, however, I think I may have found my favorite concoction yet. Allow me to share, since that is precisely what I would do if you had come over to my house this evening.

Best Cup of Hot Chocolate 

What you will need: 

1 festive mug full of hot water

3 table spoons of Stephen's Gourmet Hot Cocoa in Milk Chocolate

a splash (or two.. or three...) of amaretto flavored coffee creamer

1 nice big swirl of Reddi Wip

What you do:

Stir hot chocolate mix into the hot water. Use a milk frother if you have one. Add a splash (or two.. or three...) of amaretto flavored coffee creamer. Taste, make sure there is enough amaretto flavoring to your liking. Then add a little more for good measure. Top it all off with a nice big swirl of Reddi Wip. Spray some in your mouth straight from the canister and put it back in the fridge before anyone notices. Snuggle up on the couch to watch a good movie or even just the news. It won't matter what your watching. The hot chocolate will be so good you won't be paying any attention to what's on the television. Instead you'll be dreaming of all things joyful and good in life. Including the yummy mug of chocolate in your hands. Enjoy!

Lunch time around here...

... can get rather silly.

Actually, if we are being honest, it's not just lunch time that gets silly around here!  

I love these boys of mine.

a recap of November, instagram style.

1 :: the boys and I sat outside in the car after meeting with the title company while daddy went into the bank. the house buying process turned out to be much more complicated than anyone ever tells you!
2 :: we are finally home owners! we got the keys just two mintues before the moving truck arrived with our stuff. talk about perfect timing.
3 :: Grandma came to help unpack (she also came for some cuddle time with the grandkids). we loved having her here and were sad to see her go.
4 :: the very last box was unpacked just one day after the moving trucks arrived. thanks to family who came to our rescue and helped out big time!
5 :: Tiny's tooth marks in a banana. I love that gap of his.
6 :: received our very first package in the mail at our new home. salted caramel hot chocolate on a stick from ticketkitchen.com. oh so good. a huge thanks to sweet Amber for the perfect house warming gift!
7 :: prepping for Tiny's first birthday. we kept it very low key and it was awesome.
8 :: when I say low key, I mean it. we bought the cake from Costco!
9 :: I'm pretty sure Tiny loved his cake. he just ate the frosting off of it for the longest time, but eventually dug in. he was savoring every single bite.
10 :: we headed to Idaho for Thanksgiving with Jer's family. I had my very first Black Friday shopping experience. the highlight was seeing these two kiddos with their daddies as content as can be. we lucked out bringing such happy kids along!
11 :: this guy slept for about 15 minutes during the trip home. he screamed bloody murder for the remaining 3 hours. he still hates the car... and I'm starting to as well. hoping that whole "beam me up, scotty" thing comes to real life soon.
12 :: Jer's brother came to help put Christmas lights up last weekend. they did a great job and finished in under an hour. impressive.
13 :: oh didn't you know? it's Halloween around here.  all. the. time.
14 :: we ate leftover birthday cake to celebrate Michael's birthday. we lit a candle and sang happy birthday to him. Little Guy loved it!
15 :: my little "helper".
16 :: I love waking up to this scene each morning. we are so excited and ready for Christmas in our new home!

A Letter to My Baby - 2 years

Little and Tiny at Michael's grave the day before we moved.

Dear Michael,

I am sitting here alone tonight, all of the boys are already in bed. Your brother's both have a nasty cold and your dad is exhausted from the weekend's activities. I should probably be in bed also since I know full well that I will be up most of the night with the two little ones. However I am unable to bring myself to go to bed just yet. You see, tomorrow will be the two year mark of the day I held you in my arms. It was a day full of so many emotions, but the one that sticks out to me tonight is one of love. It was the emotion that filled my entire body the second they laid you in my arms. Sadness soon accompanied it, but I will always remember that very first feeling of overwhelming love. You, along with your two brothers, taught me just how powerful a mother's love is.

It is incredible how quick two years can fly by and how many things can change. We are in a new home now, a different place from where you were born. That means it is a place away from the people who were right there for me during those weeks and months of greif. They will always be so dear to my heart for helping me through the loss. So many wonderful people who sacrificed their time and energy to bring meals, watch your big brother, come for visits so that I had shoulders to cry on and so on. I have mentioned before how I wouldn't have made it through that experience without the tender mercies of the Lord. Well, those were some of the many tender mercies given. My friends, family, neighbors and ward members were angels here on earth making those tender mercies happen.

Being in a new place also means we are away from where you are buried. When we found out we were going to be moving the very first thought that came to my mind was how we would not longer be close to you. At first I panicked. After all, it would make it much more difficult for us to come visit whenever we wanted. But after a while I reminded myself that what is buried in your little spot in the world is a shell. A beautiful shell, but still just a shell. You are no longer there, you are in heaven patiently waiting (and working) until we are able to meet again and I found comfort in knowing that.

The other day your oldest brother was playing with the teddy bear you gave him. He has become quite attached to it and even snuck it in his backpack to bring to church with him last week. I asked him if he remembered where he got his bear. He answered without hesitation saying, "Baby Michael gave it to me!". The conversation that followed was such a special moment for me. I was able to ask him what he remembered about you. He asked questions and I answered them. I was able to tell him that we would see you again (which made him very happy). It wasn't the first time I had told him your story. However, each time I tell him about you he understands a little more. He surprised me with how much he understood this time and even asked to see your pictures. After I showed them to him he told me how much he loves you.

You will always be in my heart Michael, filling the hole that was there after I lost you. Your story has touched so many people, most importantly the people in your family. I am thankful for the many life lessons I have learned over the last two years because of you.

I love you.

Love,
Mom

One Year Old

This morning I woke up to noises coming from your bedroom. I tried to ignore them for just a moment to get a few more minutes of sleep. You had a very restless night, waking up three or four times crying. I like to blame this sort of unacceptable behavior on teething, so we'll say you are teething. The noises that I heard this morning, however, weren't noises of pain or discomfort. They were of pure joy. Squeals and giggles slid under your doorway and into my room. For a moment I thought maybe your big brother had snuck in your room to wish you a happy birthday. He is always one to make you happy. You adore him almost just as much as he adores you.

I finally mustered the strength to roll my tired and stiff body out of bed. I shuffled across the hallway, still half asleep and opened the door to your room. As I did so I saw that you were in your crib, alone, happy as a clam. Your excitement had escalated since seeing me walk through the door. I scooped you up in my arms, smothered you with groggy kisses and wished you a happy first birthday. You patted me a few times right smack dab in the middle of my face (as you tend to do when you're excited). I took you in to your dad who was still in bed. You coaxed him out of bed and continued to giggle and squeal. All the commotion finally woke your brother up so we all sang "Happy Birthday" to you. You were pretty clueless as to what it was all about, but enjoyed the attention anyway.

This past year has gone by much too fast, as time always does when it comes to my babies. You were an easy delivery and an even easier recuperation. That first week we had you home our family was hit with the worst stomach virus of the year. Poor grandma wasn't even able to escape it. You and I stayed confined in your bedroom for a few days until the coast was clear. I'd say it was lucky that we didn't get sick, but you and I both know it was a miracle. There were several months when you were just completely miserable. You cried and cried and I cried right along with you at times. It tore my heart out seeing you in so much pain. Colic runs in the family but you were also hit with a bad case of acid reflux.

After we got through that rough patch you were so full of life and joy. Your personality started to shine through those big blue eyes of yours. You soaked everything up and learned things much quicker than I was ready for you to. You became inseparable to your big brother and spent every waking moment right next to his side.

You are curious about everything around you and love discovering new things. You love toys but books are you true passion. You also love to empty drawers and cabinets, picking each item up and looking at it before throwing it to the ground. You absolutely love bananas. I even found you cramming one into your mouth (peel and all) that you had found in a basket that was on the floor. You bawled when I took that peel away, thinking I had robbed you of your favorite food. You are a lover and always up for a good snuggle. I adore seeing you crawl over to me reaching your hands up in the air begging me to pick you up. I always get rewarded with a big hug.

You will always be such a blessing to us. Our little ray of sunshine after the rain. I thank my Heavenly Father each and every day for blessing me with you in my arms to hold forever. I love you Tiny.

Happy first birthday!