|These are the "shining moments".|
My love for October began in 2007 when I became a first time mom. The little blue bundle that joined our family would soon grow up to be a boy in love with October, Halloween and everything pumpkin flavored.
This year I have a renewed love for October and I think it has greatly to do with the fact that it is beautiful here in Utah. Meaning: NO SNOW. Being 9 months pregnant I am welcoming the cooler weather with open arms and grateful I can use the layering technique to cover my ginormified belly. I also love that we still have a few warm days thrown into the mix so that my boys aren't getting too stir crazy. It's the perfect temperature to play outside for hours on end without getting too hot or too cold and this mama is grateful for that.
Each night I peek in on my boys while they sleep before I put myself to bed. A few nights ago while doing this I had one of those mother moments where I was struck hard by an intense feeling of love for my boys. It had been a crazy day full of running late, tantrums and sibling fighting. But seeing them laying there in complete innocence made my heart feel as though it would burst. I kissed them each on the cheek and whispered an apology for my impatience and imperfectness. As I closed the door I wondered how it was that I had managed to be blessed with such sweet little spirits to raise. I definitely didn't feel deserving after the day we had had and started to panic about the decision to bring another little one into this family before I had figured out this whole mother thing.
I can't help but think of the quote by Elder M. Russell Ballard that says, "The joy in motherhood comes in moments. There will be hard times and frustrating times. But amid the challenges, there are shining moments of joy and satisfaction." There are moments (or even entire days) where we might feel like we are failing as a mother, but there are always those "shining moments" when we realize we really are doing a great job and this motherhood thing is our greatest blessing. It's easy to overlook the bad when the good is oh so wonderful.
I am getting anxious to welcome this baby girl into our family. I can't wait to hold her in my arms and feel a mother's love for a new little being all over again. I know it's going to be hard at times (especially dreading the lack of sleep part) but I know from experience now that getting through those difficult moments is more than worth the good and happy ones that are to come.
(Two more weeks and counting!)
p.s. Who is still here? I haven't blogged forever thanks to the ease and convenience of Instagram. I also don't read blogs anymore thanks to google reader leaving my life (rude). I'd love to know who is still sticking around this blog land!